Matt Cassel – D He collapses under pressure like a man being shot in community theatre. It reminds me of Elvis Grbac, but at least when Elvis did throw the ball he averaged more than 3 yards per completion. He remains a must start in PPR fantasy leagues because of his proficiency for catching his own batted passes.
Jamal Charles – D He ran the ball okay when he got the chance, but anytime you put the ball on the ground you won’t get a passing grade from me.
Dexter McCluster – F While I do empathize with the man as I myself have small baby-man hands, fumbling the opening kick-off of the season is unforgivable. He did have some nice gains later in the game…still unfrogiveable.
Thomas Jones – D He was a non-factor. But he didn’t fumble.
Dwayne Bowe – C 8 targets, 2 catches, 1 drop, 17 yards. I’d give him a lower grade but only 3 of the balls thrown his way were catchable.
Steve Breaston – C Wow. I forgot Breaston was even on our team during most of that game. He was only thrown to 2 times, presumably because after he was 5 yards downfield he was out of Cassel’s range.
Jerheme Urban – F Our other starting receiver. No catches. Remains notable only for his misspelled first name.
Leonard Pope – D Moeaki who? Just kidding. Pope is terrible. I really want him to be good. He looks like a player giant I would create on Madden. My hypothesis is that if you removed his gloves you would discover he has no thumbs. It’s the only explanation for how poor a pass catcher he is.
Jake O’Connel – F Leonard Pope who? Just kidding. O’Connel is terrible. UPDATE – He was released this week.
Offensive Line – C Offensive line actually played okay. Chiefs ran the ball well when they tried. Pass blocking was pretty good. It looks like there is more pressure on Cassel than there really is because he panics so quickly. We’ll see how they hold up against The Lion King Ndamukong Suh and friends this weekend.
Defensive Line – D Tyson Jackson had 1 tackle. Offensive linemen move him around the field wherever they want like an elderly woman in a wheelchair. Dorsey created no pressure. Never saw him in the backfield. He did come away with 4 tackles. Kelly Gregg looked nice and big out there, but I only noticed him between downs.
Linebackers – C The linebackers played okay. Tamba put some pressure on the QB and had a sack. But there were too many missed tackles and the group had trouble finding the Bills TE Chandler in pass coverage.
Eric Berry’s ACL – F The ACL didn’t come ready to play. Period. It gave up after the first series. Thanks a lot ACL. You are a bastard.
Secondary – F The rest of the secondary looked deflated after Berry’s injury. They missed tackles couldn’t find the ball in pass coverage. Sabby Piscitelli who I was rooting for during the pre-season was consistently out of position and gave up play after play. Fitzpatrick threw 4 touchdowns and if it weren’t a blowout the passing yardage would have been worse too.
Coaching – F The team looked absolutely unprepared. When an entire team comes out and plays that flat it has to fall back on the coaches. Bill Muir, Jim Zorn, Todd Haley, or The Wizard of Oz, I’m not really sure who was calling plays on Sunday. Regardless, the offense seemed centered around bootleg rollout passes to Leonard Pope. See above grade for Pope as evidence that this was a bad gameplan. Romeo, Romeo, where’s the defense Romeo? The defense was put in tough positions all day because of turnovers and the offense’s inability to sustain a drive, but that doesn’t excuse giving up that many points to the Bills.