This stuff is awesome and made us laugh, you should like it too (5/27/13)

Some awesome stuff from the past week, some sports related, some not.

Enjoy.

There are all sorts of mistakes in this one, brought to you by our very own Fox Sorts Kansas City. I guess they are taking after the very team they broadcast.

royalsgraphicsmallHow many mistakes can you find?

Instead of Bryce Harper they named him “Bryce Hunter.”

Bryce Harper plays for the Washington Nationals and not the Detroit Tigers.

They listed Matt Harvey as “Matt Jones.”

Matt Harvey plays for the New York Mets and not for the Baltimore Orioles.

They got Manny Machado’s name correct, but then put him on the Chicago White Sox instead of the Orioles.

I am not sure if this is foreshadowing, but as of right now superstar Mike Trout is currently a member of the Los Angeles Angels and not the New York Yankees.

And there was this gem from Thursday night as a fan ran onto the field at the K…and stole the rosin bag:

This is the best rosin bag incident this year since the Pirates April Fools joke on pitcher AJ Burnett:

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MLB

The Giants’ Angel Pagan on Saturday hit just the 17th walk-off, inside-the-park homer since 1945. Here’s the video:

 

The Rangers’ Adrian Beltre doesn’t like it when people touch his head. Now, he’s resorting to the use of (friendly) weapons to deter his teammates. It’s become a running gag with his teammates. In fact, if you search “Adrian Beltre head” on YouTube, you get more than 800 videos of head-touching silliness. During Friday night’s Rangers game at Seattle, Texas shortstop Elvis Andrus gave Beltre a playful pat on the noggin during a pitching change. Result? GIF Goldmine.

 

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Speaking of GIF goldmine’s, Troy Tulowitzki provided us with this:

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The Blue Jays took batting practice at a driving range.

Edwin Encarnacion’s longest drive was 419 feet. Jose Bautista hit one 406.

The Nationals have made T-Shirts of pitching coach Steve McCatty’s old playgirl photo:

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Stud 3B Ryan Zimmerman said, “It’s pretty incredible. It’s a perfect T-shirt, and what a picture. It’s one of the better T-shirts I’ve seen in the eight years I’ve seen them made.” Reliever Tyler Clippard on the shirts: “This is the best day of my life.” McCatty pitched for the Oakland A’s in the 80’s. He and a number of other MLB players (among George Brett) for some reason agreed to pose for Playgirl in a series of photo spreads that Baseball Prospectus recently dug up.

georgebrettplaygirl

Some other good stuff from the Nats came from closer Rafael Soriano criticizing Bryce Harper’s attempt to catch what seemed to be a sure out flyout when it left Gregor Blanco’s bat. With the Giants down 2-1 and down to their last strike, this happened:

 

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…driving in Andres Torres, tying the game. Pablo Sandoval ended the game with a walk-off bomb in the 10th. Sorano responds in postgame with a “my four-year old could have made that play” statement, “if we’re positioned the right way, there might have been a different outcome. With two outs, I could tell my four-year-old son, ‘You know where you need to play,’ and he would have positioned himself better. It’s not an excuse, and I’m not speaking badly about anybody, but I think that’s how you play the game.”

Marlins pitcher Alex Sanabia gave up a HR, blatantly spit on the next ball, and didn’t give up a run the rest of the game.

 

pitooooo

Sanabia doesn’t give a fuck, blatantly spitting on the baseball in the second inning of the Marlins-Phillies game Monday night. It’s so obvious, it’s as if he doesn’t know that spitballs were outlawed in 1920. He then pitched 6 1/3 scoreless innings.

Yesterday, the Brewers sideline (?) reporter for Fox Sports Wisconsin, Sophia Minnaert, took a line drive right off her hand in the third inning, shook it off and kept going looking only slightly rattled.

She’s a gamer!

A must watch is Cleveland manager Terry Francona playfully (kind of) beating up old friend and Red Sox (NESN) announcer in dugout.

If we already did not know Francona was hilarious, check him out leading his club in their rendition of the Harlem Shake from back in Spring Training:

Phenomenal.

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NBA

Pacers broadcaster Mark Boyle rips into Heat fans for leaving Game 2 early with awesomeness such as: “These losers are leaving early” and “They are flocking to the exits with their team down by three. This city does not only not deserve this team, they don’t deserve any team.”

Enjoy: http://www.pageqsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/INP-announcers-say-Miami-doesnt-deserve-this-team.mp3

But, watch what you say. The Pacers are 24th in the NBA in attendance despite its top 3 standing in the East. Here is a fantastic GIF from Game 1 in the series when Norris Cole provided David West with a nut­-shot:

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And Paul George wore this after the Game 1 OT loss:

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Maybe the best NBA moment of the week was Tony Allen’s flopping late in the game against the Spurs in Game 2 of the NBA Western Conference finals. Allen took flopping to another level – and with great success. His Grizzlies were down four with under a minute left when Zach Randolph and Allen forced a steal and went the other way. Manu Ginobili fouled Allen, who landed awkwardly and began clutching his head and writhing on the ground as if he had been kicked in the skull by the floorboards…Only he never hit his head and his acting job resulted in a flagrant foul and resulted in two free throws and the ball back, resulting in a game-tying bucket. See for yourself:

Here is Shawn Marion driving a funny, three-wheeled car:

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Sounds like Terrence Williams’ visit with his kid went really well, if ‘Really Well’ means  ‘Brandishing a Gun.’ Few situations are sadder than a mother and father meeting in a parking lot so their child can hang out with the father for a court-mandated visit. But Celtics guard/forward Terrence Williams decided to bring everything down a peg by allegedly pulling out a gun and “making threats” with it.

This took place in downtown Kent, WA yesterday around 1:55 p.m. Williams has a 10-year-old son, and the mother of that son was dropping him off to meet with Williams. Then this happened:

  • …During the exchange in a downtown Kent parking lot, [Williams and the woman] began arguing. The woman told police that Williams brandished a firearm and made threats. He then left the area. Police said they later located Williams and took him into custody. An investigation is ongoing.

We won’t speculate on the nature of argument, but needless to say, it’s doubtful that a 6’6”, 220 pound man needed to defend himself from his baby mama with a gun. In front of his son. In public. It’s shocking enough to overshadow the fact that 25-year-old Williams must have become a father when he was 15 (or so) years old.

Stay classy.

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NCAA

Cincinnati baseball does it right. Check out these post-game interview shenanigans:

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NHL

Some NHL Hockey Playoff goodness this week.

First, from Tuesday night in the LA Kings-San Jose Sharks Western Conference semifinals, this butt-check from the Sharks Brent Burns on victim Brad Richardson:

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And, this was spectacular from Game 4 on the NHL Eastern Conference semifinals when Rangers coach John Tortorella got into it with one of the referees, who responds with a “fuck you.” Make sure your sound is on.

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Soccer

We’ve seen some crazy soccer celebrations over the years, but not even Brandi Chastain taking her shirt off has anything on Thai Premier League’s Mario Gjurovski TAKING HIS PANTS OFF, followed by an ejection:

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Fighting

MMA fighter Michael Waylon Lowe suffers gruesome injury via penis gel. According to a complaint filed last week, Lowe had applied the gel to…himself and then, you know, got to it. His fiancée had to pause the activities to attend to their 3-year-old daughter and then all hell broke loose. Lowe “began to experience excruciating pain and pressure in his penis,” a lawsuit for $50,000 against a Philadelphia sex shop where he brought the product, and its creators Kama Sutra Co. and Kamsut Inc., for $50,000 in damages, states. “He removed the condom and his penis swelled significantly. He sought emergency medical treatment and follow-up care thereafter.”

The complaint accuses the defendants of negligence and product liability for failing to provide proper instructions, warn users of risks, and design and test the gel to ensure its safety.

It claims that Lowe suffered “catastrophic and permanent damage,” including penile scarring, loss of sensation and function; nerve and tissue damage; humiliation, embarrassment and mental anguish; lost wages and earning capacity; and loss of life’s pleasures.

Sounds to me as if the money isn’t nearly enough and how do you put a price on such a thing? You don’t. You just… don’t.

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Headlines of the Week

Wife Bites Husband’s Genitals Because He Made Her Leave The Rodeo Early

What a classic story.

A man whose wife bit him on the genitals after an argument after a rodeo says his only regret is calling 911 on her. Anthony Hill is still healing and says he’s standing by his wife, Christina Salinas. Hill said it supposed to be a fun night out at the Penn Valley Rodeo. He says the argument followed a series of stressful events in their lives, including the fact Salinas’ ex-husband now lives with them.

Hill wanted to leave early, she wanted to stay. When they got home, the argument continued. Salinas’ ex-husband tried to separate the two, and when both men went to hold her down, that’s when she allegedly bit his penis.

But he says he’s already made up with her, saying it’s just what they normally do — except they don’t call 911.

“I’ve assaulted her before in arguments,” Hill said. “We work it out and I went beyond that.”

So, there you have it a man and his wife and her ex-husband living together, a bitten penis…and, oh, a pet pig:

pigcar

A woman bragged on Twitter about hitting a cyclist, amusing the police.

Norwich, England resident Emma Way said she hit a cyclist because he “doesn’t pay road tax.”

Screen shot 2013-05-27 at 12.31.18 PM

The police were amused:

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According to iPayRoadTax.com, Way has pictures from her Facebook page exemplifying her poor driving: she had taken taking photographs of herself tailgating other motorists, and even photographed her speedometer showing a speed of 95mph.

The cyclist, Toby Hockley, told BBC, “A car came tearing round the blind corner and narrowly missed a cyclist in front of me. She came on to my side of the road, I took the wing mirror off and I went flying off my bike into a hedge. She hit me hard, really hard. I am lucky to be alive. But I managed to get out of the hedge and stand up. The car was nowhere to be seen. She hit me, and she was gone. All I know is that it was a blonde girl driving.”

Way has deleted her Twitter account, but not before police caught up with her. It’s all under investigation and they say they can’t release details at this time.

Till next week.

One Comment

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